Following up on last week’s reflection on the meaning and theology of the Sacrament of Reconciliation, I’d like to offer a more practical reflection on confession. We like to think we do things by reason and reflection. We like to think we have high ideals and we put them into practice. In fact, our behavior is conditioned by many things, often not even perceived. I think it is important to identify some of the factors that contribute to our negligence with regard to Confession. Through the years, I have had conversations with priests about the reasons that people give for not going to confession. Here are the top 10 reasons people give and some of the answers the priests have given to encourage the sacrament.

1.  I can't remember the Act of Contrition. This was the excuse that one priest as a child gave to his mom one Lent when she was dropping him off for confessions on Saturday afternoon. She parked the car, went inside church and picked up a missalette. She opened it to the Confiteor in the beginning of the booklet and pointed out that this was one version of an act of contrition that was said at Mass all the time and in case he forgot, he could bring the missalette into the confessional with him. One can always bring a cheat sheet in, make an act of contrition up, or memorize the short prayer:  “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner.” And remember, the priest has done this before a lot, he'll remember how to go to confession even if you forget.

2.  I'm embarrassed to tell the priest how long it has been since my last confession because it has been so long. No matter how long it has been, the priest has most likely heard from someone who was away from the sacraments for a longer time than you, and so putting it into that perspective, you aren't doing so bad.

3.  I don't need to go to confession. I can just tell God I'm sorry and He'll forgive me. Imagine how this would work on your wedding day. “I don't have to speak my vows, my spouse knows that I love him/her!” Or the next time you are hungry, why not sit down at the table with some empty plates and dinnerware and imagine you are eating. Sacraments are real signs in that they effect the grace they signify. Human beings need to speak and listen to build relationships, and the sacrament of penance is based on this need.

4.  I don't want the priest to know who I am and even going behind the screen, he can guess from the sound of my voice.  Penance services are great opportunities to go to confession to a priest who doesn't know you or you don't know them. It provides some anonymity to you to help ease that shame and embarrassment. You can always take a drive to a neighboring parish. Priests never mind hearing confessions from non-parishioners.

5.  I am angry at the Church because of something a priest said or did to me or a family member and I can't bring myself to go to confession because of the Church's hypocrisy. In recent years, this has become a common response to the invitation to celebrate the sacrament of reconciliation. It is a real source of pain and sorrow for lay people and for priests alike. One priest reminds the people that the temptation to give up is always there, but we still honor our commitments. 50% of the priests who have been ordained for the diocese of Jefferson City in the last 50 years are no longer in active ministry. 50% of marriages in the United States end in divorce. Does that mean that we should all give up on our vocations? Share your anger with the priest within the celebration of the sacrament and it can be a healing experience for both of you.

6.  I haven't really committed any serious sins so I don't need to go to confession.  One of the precepts of the Church, reaffirmed in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, is the requirement to go to confession once a year, regardless of having committed a serious sin or not. We go to the dentist twice a year for checkups, we get a physical regularly, our businesses establish yearly budget goals and review them regularly. Why should we exempt ourselves from a thorough examination of conscience, confession and absolution? In fact, if we go more frequently, perhaps once a month, it will be easier to notice when something is not right, or to remind ourselves of God's generosity with forgiveness. Perhaps instead of sins of commission, you have made sins of omission, neglecting to do something for the least of Jesus' brothers and sisters.

7.  Having to go to confession is man's rule, not God's. Public acknowledgment of sin was a central theme of Jesus' ministry:  the prodigal son's “I will arise and go to my father's house”; the indictment of those who would stone the woman caught in adultery “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone”; Jesus’ words to the paralytic lowered down from the roof on a mat “Go, your sins are forgiven”; Jesus' words on reconciliation before celebrating “if you have something against your brother, leave your gifts at the altar and go reconcile with your brother first.” The first centuries of the Church saw Christians making a public confession in front of everyone. For the past 1200 years, confession of sins has been in private to a priest. It is a clear teaching that the sacrament of penance was instituted by Christ when he told the apostles while giving them the gift of the Holy Spirit: whose sins you forgive, they are forgiven. Whose sins you hold bound, they are held bound. Finally, going to confession regularly, even if we are not aware of serious sin, will make it lots easier to go when the time comes, as it does for everyone, when we commit a very serious offense.

8.  It would be wrong of me to confess a sin knowing that I will probably continue to commit this sin. Look deep into your heart and imagine what the ideal situation would be. Do you long for this? Is this what you really want? True desire for conversion begins with a desire for something different. We may feel powerless or unable to change. The sacrament promises the grace of God in situations where it seems impossible for human beings, but as Jesus says in Matthew 19 “nothing is impossible for God!” Sometimes our first steps of conversion may simply be praying for the desire to change. Our faith tells us that God will supply the Holy Spirit to those who ask for mercy in faith.

9.  I just don't believe in mortal sin, death to the soul, or eternal damnation. That's just old school religion.  It's very clear from the Bible that Jesus taught there was a difference between heaven and hell:  the parable of the sheep and the goats connects our moral life to our situation after we die. The central mystery of the Cross of Jesus is his suffering and death so that in his rising we may be restored to heaven. If Jesus saw his cross as the way to everlasting life, how could we not take every opportunity presented to us to receive the grace of reconciliation and remind ourselves of the sacrifice Jesus accomplished for our sins? And even if we don’t bother addressing the issue of threat, think of it as a positive step toward right relationship with those on earth now.

10.  I'm just too ashamed to confess my sins. The grace of conversion manifests itself in our feelings of shame and guilt. That's the remarkable action of the Holy Spirit upon our conscience as we scrutinize our actions and find them not measuring up to God's standards. The psalmist says “Too heavy for us is the burden of sin, but you O Lord wipe them away.” If you find it hard to be explicit and detailed about your sins, you can always begin by using the terms of the 10 commandments: I have violated the 3^rd commandment or the 6^th commandment. The priest might ask a question or two in order to clarify, and then move on.